


Many Returns

by dracoqueen22



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Campaign 1 (Critical Role), F/M, Post-Campaign One
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-23 19:21:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21086501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracoqueen22/pseuds/dracoqueen22
Summary: Grief is a process, and even years into the future, reminders of loss still rear their annual head.





	Many Returns

Percy isn’t sure what wakes him.  
  
It’s been many years since there’s been a crisis that requires his attention, and while he’s attuned to the cries of his children, they are old enough now not to need Mummy or Daddy to rush to their bedside.  
  
He blinks into the dim, gropes for his glasses, and perches them on his nose. He rolls over and pats an empty mattress, bedding rumpled and tossed aside.  
  
Ah.  
  
That explains it.  
  
He fights off a yawn and rolls out of bed, pulling a robe over his shoulders, dragging fingers through hair in need of a trim. His limbs ache, his knees protest. He’s in his early forties but feels much older. It’s all that adventuring and battling, he believes. It’s aged him.  
  
It's early. Or late, depending on one's point of view.  
  
Percy doesn't have to check his pocketwatch to know he'll have to be up in a few hours for a meeting with the diplomats from Emon in Cassandra's absence. It's past time his little sister has taken a vacation and while Percy loathes the responsibilities her absence gives him, he's proud of her for taking some time for herself.  
  
Even if she's not alone. Though that's another matter entirely.  
  
Percy tightens the ties around his waist in deference to the chill of spring in Whitestone, and ventures to the balcony, starting his hunt for Vex there.  
  
He's lucky. He finds her on the first try.  
  
She stands at the railing, shoulders hunched, hands braced on the carved stone, her robe fluttering around her bare legs in the soft breeze. Her hair is loose around her shoulders, still a vibrant brown, no sign of age on her yet.  
  
Percy is thankful for his premature pale hair. It disguises the fact he'll be going gray much sooner than Vex'ahlia. He's a vain creature, and he knows it. Part of the onus of nobility, he supposes.  
  
It's quite dark, as Vex has no need for light, but there's enough illumination from the moon Percy can pick out her form easily enough. The woods are dark blotches, and the flicker of moving torchlight on the ramparts announce patrolling guards, meandering their route.  
  
Percy approaches on silent, bare feet, though he has little doubt his wife knows he's there. He slides his arms around her, and she doesn't stiffen or elbow him in the sternum, so he'd been correct in his assumptions.  
  
"Is there any use in asking you to come back to bed?" Percy asks as he tucks his chin over her shoulder, her body chilled compared to the warmth of his own.  
  
Vex sighs and leans back into his embrace. "You know what today is."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then you know the answer to the question."  
  
Percy presses a warm kiss to the curve of Vex's neck and shoulder, not to entice but to comfort. "Then I'll stay up with you."  
  
"We have that meeting in a few hours. You know how cranky you get if you don't get a full night's sleep," Vex says.  
  
Percy snorts a laugh and presses the tip of his chilled nose to the back of her shoulder, making her flinch away from him. "I remember a time I fought a dragon on only a few hour's rest."  
  
"That was a long time ago, Percival."  
  
"Oh, no. Have I offended?"  
  
Vex folds her arms over his, resting her weight into his, and it's a victory Percy counts for himself, smug to his core. "I love you," she says, and Percy's heart flutters.  
  
It's a truth they both know, but rarely say, because these words are fragile, and they are both accustomed to losing the things and the people they love. But today, of all days, they are words which must be spoken.  
  
"Whatever you need, ask and I'll get it for you," Percy says.  
  
"I know." Her head tilts back against his. "I thought it would be easier, the more time passes, but if anything, it's just getting harder."  
  
Percy keeps his silence, lets her speak, voice her grief, because he doesn't want to offer empty platitudes. They are no comfort. They hadn't been for him, and they won't be for her. Percy is lucky; he still has Cassandra, but all Vex has left is her chosen family, and the one she's made with Percy.  
  
He doesn't count Syldor though the times Velora comes to stay with them are some of the few moments Percy sees the light of siblinghood glow in Vex's eyes. Velora is so much like both twins it is eerie, and she's as mischievous as Vax, down to the core.  
  
Still. She's not around often enough. She is yet young to be allowed free rein, and Syldor keeps her close to his breast.  
  
If he ever grieved for Vax, Percy hasn't seen it, but then, perhaps it has shown itself in his over-protective behavior toward Velora especially knowing how close he came to losing her to Vecna.  
  
Vex shudders in his arms and lifts a hand, wiping at her eyes. "I should be out of tears by now," she says with a shaky laugh. "But I miss him so much."  
  
"It's all right to miss him," Percy murmurs, his own heart aching with the grief of his lost family. Living in Whitestone, surrounded by the echoing memories, that's been his own burden to bear, and Cassandra remains a painful reminder as much as he loves her dearly.  
  
"There's so much I want to tell him. He's never met his nieces and nephews or enjoyed a time of peace." Vex draws in a long, slow breath as if trying to get herself under control. "I'm pregnant, you know. He'll never meet this one either."  
  
Pregnant again? That's wonderful news.  
  
Percy frees a hand to stroke her belly, where indeed there is the smallest of rise. Vex has softened over the years, much like he has, though she's kept in shape much better than he. She still runs in the forest, spends hours shooting her bow, and hunting when the need arises. Dangers never stalk too close to Whitestone, for Vex is quick to put an end to them, often with Jarett's assistance.  
  
Percy sticks close to home. He doesn't have the yearn for adventuring as much as she does. Occasionally he joins her, when he feels the need to make sure he's not out of practice, but he's slower than he used to be, and the remnants of Orthax abandoned him years ago.  
  
"I love you," Percy says into the heavy silence. It's all he has to offer. "And I'm happy for another child. I know there is nothing that can replace Vax, but whatever you need of me, I'm here."  
  
"I know." Vex sighs and turns in his arms, drawing him into a chaste kiss before pressing their foreheads together, tears a drying damp at the corner of her eyes. "Let's go back to bed. It's fucking cold out here."  
  
"I don't know. My feet may be frozen to the stone," Percy says.  
  
Vex rolls her eyes, amusement dancing in them, chasing away the dark clouds of grief. "Then I guess I'll have to leave you out here, the great Lord de Rolo, a frozen monument to his people, too bad he's only wearing these silly robes."  
  
"You are ruthless," Percy says, and he sweeps some hair out of her eyes, tucking it back behind her ears. "It's one of your more charming qualities."  
  
Vex snorts and grabs his hand, tugging him back indoors and to the warmth of their bedroom, the flaps of her robe occasionally offering peeks at tanned, scarred skin. "Only you would think so."  
  
Percy lets himself be tugged, as bed is right where he wants to be, especially now that Vex is returning to it. Sappy as it might sound, he's not accustomed to sleeping without her at his side.  
  
Vex shucks her robe, leaving her wearing only an immodest shift which clings to her curves and is far too thin to offer any measure of warmth. She's quick to climb beneath the thick blankets, and Percy is even quicker to join her, remembering at the last moment to remove his glasses and place them on the bedside table.  
  
They curl together, bodies cold but the blankets having retained most of the warmth in their absence. Vex pillows her head on Percy's chest, and he cards his fingers through her hair, something which has never failed to soothe in the past.  
  
"I know it feels otherwise," Percy murmurs. "But happy birthday, Vex'ahlia. I, for one, am glad you are here, and I know our children feel the same way. You didn't hear it from me, but I have a sneaking suspicion there is a surprise in your future."  
  
Vex chuckles, though it is a strained sound, one choked by withheld tears. "I'll pretend to be shocked." She toys with the buttons on his nightshirt, recently mended. "Thank you, Percy. I promise to be better tomorrow."  
  
"It's okay if you're not."  
  
Vex hums wordless and settles against his chest, her breathing a bit stuttered, and Percy choosing not to comment on it. His nightshirt will be damp by the time they have to rise, but it'll be a sacrifice to a worthy cause. It is a gift, to be trusted with this vulnerability, and Percy would never waste such a show of trust.  
  
Besides, Vex is back in the bed with him, and though they only have a few precious hours before the council meeting, Percy is going to enjoy every minute of them.  
  


***

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is greatly welcome and appreciated! I'm still flexing my fingers for campaign one and I'd love to know how I'm doing with the characters. :)


End file.
